Last week, I went into the closet and pulled out the best outfit I could put together. It involved mom jeans from Costco, a cardigan that was part of a pajama set, and an old black tee shirt with holes. Granted, the holes were hidden – I do have SOME standards.
As I went about my errands, I hit a breaking point in the Egg & I parking lot. It seemed as good a spot as any to call Nordstrom and arrange a self-imposed intervention with a personal stylist. I’d been thinking about it for a few years. They could hear the panic and were able to see me immediately. They kept me on the phone and talked me through the drive to the mall. I was being rescued.
Normally, when I shop, I roam stores overwhelmed at the selection. I buy black. I grab stuff from sales racks. I get frustrated. I hate it and I never end up with what I want.
The personal stylist, Betsy, made it so very easy. She pulled together clothes that made it look like I dressed on purpose, not because of a fire. I don’t know if people who can do this understand what a skill it is. It was all unicorns, kittens and rainbows.
Based on my current state, she believed me when I told her my wardrobe consisted of 7 fleece jackets, 1 vest and a couple of pairs of ill-fitting corduroys and jeans. I later dug out a few other skirts and shirts, but they were a motley crew of mini time capsules. I’m sure you have those – the skirt that you got to go with the jacket with shoulder pads? That shirt that you needed after the baby to hide the still-pregnant looking belly? They were those clothes.
I had a small seizure and sputtered like a sprinkler as she was pulling out items that I would never in a bazillion years ever pick out – some involved both print and color.
Here’s what she put together for me:
- Leather Jacket. I feel like angels should sing when I wear this. It was the single most expensive purchase and worth every penny. I’m calling it caramel. It might be called camel. I don’t care.
- Denim Jacket.
- Various reasonably priced short sleeve shirts (I think there were 7?).
- 3 skirts: black, gray, and good-God is it called fushia?
- 3 belts: caramel, black, and some multi-color beaded thing with a wooden buckle.
- 3 shoes: Caramel-colored heels, black peep-toe flats, and some knee high gray/brown boots that I probably didn’t need.
- 2 cardigans: black and navy.
- 2 trendy-ish long sleeve shirts – they involve shoulder zippers and what looks like household hardware. Is that a trend?
- 2 pairs of jeans: bootcut and straight leg. Apparently, there are different levels of designer jeans. I heard a lot about Joes, Paige, and Sevens. I have no idea what that is all about; they must be woven with gold and sprinkled with fairy dust to cost that much. Stylish people are on crack.
- 2 scarves.
My new besty Betsy wouldn’t let me buy multiples of things I liked – not even in other colors. That was difficult. She nixed a couple of hideous shirts and gave honest opinions about what was not working. She showed me how I could get a lot of outfits by mixing the pieces. She said that almost any item could go with anything else (even the bright teal shirt could go with the purple skirt – she talked about color blocking?). She totally fool-proofed my wardrobe. I’m tempted to photograph every possible combination to see how many I can come up with…but, I’ll spare you that for now. I’m sure if I counted up everything I* could use a simple formula to calculate the number of possible outfits. (*Kevin)
Oh, and did you know that they have NAMES for the WAYS you can TIE SCARVES? Is this just common knowledge? Because *head exploding* I had NO idea. That’s not saying I remember all the names…but, seriously, who knew? The middle 2 pictures show “The Pretzel.” I suppose it’s more grown-up than a beer festival pretzel necklace – not as much fun though.